one of the foremost goals of being young is trying to innovate. looking at the world asking pretty little questions about all its wrongs, and wondering about what the solutions are. and whether or not you, personally, could enact them.
one of the foremost goals of getting old is murdering this idealism and burying it with as much cynicism as you can shovel.
it seems sad i guess. to look at something we define as optimism decay slowly and quietly. it’s those little moments of daily cruelty. you know, when someone should’ve said hi to you, looked at you, and didn’t. or when your friends tell you they’ll join you somewhere, but don’t.
these blur together over time, with the details being forgotten, but the feeling harshly remembered. out of this wound comes not a scab, but a scar. and before you know it, the untouched skin of your youth becomes a grotesque display of social torture.
or does it.
i wouldn’t suggest embracing cynicism. it’s fun and all but if this blog is any proof, it doesn’t leave you much happiness.
however, optimism is not beautiful, just as cynicism is not ugly. the two in any form can produce good and bad results. i can at least say that cynicism has kept me from holding myself to massive standards. this, in turn, keeps me from measuring others too.
after all, have you ever seen tumblr, or the facebook page of any 14-25 year old? it’s filled with posts and reblogs of the way things should be, manifested in illustrations, tv shows, and quotes from (and about) dead people. this is often followed by harsh criticisms of how cruel people are, and how fucked the world is.
as a disclaimer, yeah, this is pretty bias posturing. but it’s my blog, and i’ll say what i want.
it’s not worth forcing the optimism and posting the pretty pictures with the pretty fonts if, at its core, is an ugly scathing criticism of society. it is okay to dislike this society. i don’t think anyone really does like it anyway. but it’s not okay to scrutinize it. because no one is an outsider.
even as much as i embrace being an observer and a part from the crowd, i’m aware that i’ve done my share of fucking this culture up. that self-awareness. i think this is what’s missing from people my age right now. and why i embrace losing any notion of changing the world kony-style. because it’s not the world you have to change. it’s you.
you have to stop being an asshole.