we neglect just how much pain is required to make a person attractive to us. as in, for someone to be attractive, they’ll have to have endured a certain amount of emotional/physical toil. it varies from person to person, but generally if you’ve gone through more shit, you will be seen as more attractive.
i don’t think people are naive. i think they’re aware of this. but only in glimpses. and then this sort of sadistic standard for beauty is tucked away when we’re wrapped up in how much we like someone.
and then we wonder why shit’s fucked up.
This is part 2 of a 3 part essay. The last entry will come tomorrow.
In general humans are keen on nurturing things that seem adorable and frail. We may not necessarily respect its existence, but we do sympathize with it. This is pretty obvious in a lot of ways, from the Internet’s obsession with Boxxy (Who makes similar videos as this youtuber, but is infinitely more renowned because she’s “cute”), to our strange adoration of murderous baby animals (like hippos, even though they’re considered Africa’s most feared animal).
Applying this to women, females have the strongest physical resemblances to these cute things. Their voices, eyes, faces, and, at times, their bodies look more adorable to us than anything a man can grow into. And while yes, straight males obviously find chicks adorable, straight women also adore themselves too. Straight males cannot say the same about other males.
And so begins the fuck up.
As a girl grows up, what she is witnessing, without knowing, is people actively altering their honest feelings to accommodate for how cute and frail she is.
Applying this logic makes the flaw clear; being a female means the world will not give you an honest response. They will skew their opinions of you, your experiences, and your actions, treating you nicer than they would normally, just because you’re a girl.
This especially applies to very attractive women, again for obvious reasons. It is also why “uglier” girls often have social crutches beautiful women do not, like being funny, or more aggressive. This is because being beautiful provides you with positive responses. Simply existing is all you need to get what you desire. But if you’re not beautiful, you have to create another means by which to impress people. We will do anything to attain social success, and this includes compensating for all that we lack.
The “We Treat Girls Nice ‘Cause They’re Pretty” law also explains the common belief that chicks seem to appreciate “douchebags” more than “nice guys”.
Beginning with the “douchebags”, let’s break down what exactly that implies. It is often a guy (Or girl, in some cases) who seems to “disrespect” the girl by making harsh criticisms or dismissing her emotions. Often, they’re contradicting our standard means of reacting to women, which is to respect their feelings and respond carefully.
“Nice guys” are considered to follow these standards, giving women not only this respect, but also putting them first above all else, irrespective of whether or not the girl’s actions are objectively retarded.
Before we proceed, we have to erase any negative associations on anything. Clear the “good things to do”/”bad things to do” Venn diagram that often muddles our perception of life.
This is part 1 of a 3 part essay. The next two entries will come tomorrow, and the day after.
When scrutinizing others, we use a set of steps to make a complete evaluation of the person’s flaws. This begins with the observation of the mistake, then a personal understanding about that person’s logic. Finally, we settle on a conclusion, usually of our own subjective origins, and not from an objective truth.
While I make an effort to promote equality in all things and strive to break gender/race acknowledgements, it would be stupid of me to suggest there aren’t legitimate differences. There is a reason why, for example, Anglo-Saxon music is melodic, whereas African music is rhythmic.
And, in this case, why women are fucked up in ways men cannot be.
The truth is that there is a repeated set of patterns women undergo. While my peers shun the idea of generalizing entire groups of people (at times, myself included), culture itself is based on a repeated set of actions by a group of people. It depends on stereotypical routines in order to establish itself. People do things, and they do them the same way. All the time.
With this established, let’s return back to the “scrutiny” bit.
During the steps, we just assume that a personality is this static thing born from nothing, and made immediately as we saw it. Really, it is a growth spurted over years of experiences, viewing life and reacting to it. It repeats this process to establish itself, exploring what it is and isn’t, until the personality settles on a philosophy, and hoorray, you have a stubborn adult.
But what role does their gender play?
In many cultures, women play the same role. The caretaker, the family person, the housewife, the nurturer. There’s also the artist or the muse. Finding the common denominator in these roles, you’ll find the following traits:
Expressive - To properly care for a family, you must be willing to exclaim beliefs without hesitation. Letting emotions, both yours and others, known. The same applies to being a muse, artist, or diva (Of course, as in any art form. Also, this is why all blogging sites, including Tumblr, primarily consists of women).
Confident - In synergy with “expressive”, confidence is required so that one doesn’t feel ashamed in expressing themselves. Their feelings are their feelings, and they should find nothing wrong with it. If they were shy, they wouldn’t express it.
Empathetic - The need to care is a vital part of being a female, or, at least, the roles they’re boxed into by society. You cannot nurture without empathy, and you cannot create without a passion for a subject.
These three traits are quintessential to being female. Without one of these three, in most societies, you stand to be questioned in many ways (Be it your sexuality or your sanity in general).
So if these are the standard traits, how did they come to be?
The thing we don’t consider is how a person evolves according to what the world shows them. In most societies, women are treated with care and are granted a sort of pass on things that would not be acceptable for a man.
For example, females are prone to complaining more often. This is because we don’t immediately disapprove of women complaining; in fact, we seek ways of easing her anger. When a man complains, we question his resolve and perhaps his masculinity as well. Thus, women complain more than men, because society reacts positive to one, and negatively to the other.
Why do we that?
Because females are pretty.